If you didn’t cut last night, I’m proud of you. 

If you didn’t purge last night, I’m proud of you. 

If you ate something last night, I’m proud of you. 

If you calmed yourself down during an anxiety attack, I’m proud of you.

If you didn’t let the bullies get to you, I’m proud of you. 

If you stayed alive for another night, I’m proud of you. 

(via recovery-has-set-me-free)

I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.”

(via satansbuttcrack)

“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series (via avvfvl)

(via recovery-has-set-me-free)

This is on my resources page, but in case you didn’t know, the NEDA has a blog! NEDA: Feeding Hope. Check it out!

Stand By Me | Playing For Change | Song Around the World




I don’t know what it was about this, or maybe just the moment I was in, but I cried. 


I feel like slitting my wrists and watching myself bleed. I feel like choking myself and writing another note. I feel like cutting my hair off and breaking all the glasses in my house. I feel so sad, so empty, so broken.

But its okay, because i’m allowed to feel sad. I’m allowed to feel like slitting my wrists, but i wont I’m allowed to want to break glasses, but i wont. Because i know it wont help. But what WILL help is just letting the sadness be felt. its there, recognize it. Let it be, breath the sadness. Its okay, you can be sad

You are allowed to be sad

This is another interesting thing Shayna talked to me about. I said to her, “But I can’t be sad.” And she said, “Of course you can.”

We have this duality lens that we see our life through— black and white, good and bad. Happiness and sadness. But there is nothing wrong with being sad. In fact, being sad is as important as being happy. There is significance, importance, and meaning in every emotion. Acknowledge and accept that happiness, sadness, and all the emotions in between are equals. 

I like this word, saudade, because in Portuguese it means being both happy and sad. The closest translation we have is “longing.” But it shatters this idea that we are but one shade of happy or sad, when there are so many different kinds, and we can be them all. The human spectrum of emotion is incredible.

When I wake up at night plagued by an emotion that makes it hard to sleep, I put my hand on my shoulder and I tell myself, “I know you are feeling this way, and it’s okay. It is okay to feel everything you feel.” And I think, by accepting it and even caring for it, it softens, allowing me to be at peace again.

(via thebluebirdspeaks)

Hello, Warriors.

Last week, I came home from a forty day trip to Spain. I was hiking the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile pilgrimage, with my brother. This experience, I believe, both saved and changed my life entirely. I would like to share a few things I learned that helped me dramatically move forward in my recovery, but truly, in my life, because recovery is simply life.

I met a woman named Shayna from Florida who taught me something very important. She taught me about the shadow. Everyone has a shadow. Mine manifests itself in a way that caused society to diagnose me with an eating disorder, but I do not believe this shadow should be called “ED” any longer. It is not just an eating disorder. It is a deep and pained part of my soul. 

Here is a thought that changed the way I look at my recovery forever—

"The Shadow is like an angry, hurt, abused child," Shayna said. "It needs your love and attention so badly, but it does not know any other way to act other than violence. It will berate you, bully you, hurt you, but only because it does not know how to behave in a loving manner. You must teach it how.

This Shadow needs your love, affection, attention more than any other part of you. When it comes to you, you must not shut it out, hate it, curse it for existing. You must take it in your arms and say, ‘I am here for you. I love you. I will take care of you,’ You must teach it how to love. You must be kind. Take this child in your arms, see this part of you in pain, forgive it, truly love it, and tell it that it is okay. It is okay.”